Dealing with a bully is about two things: knowing when to act, and being ready to act when that moment comes. In this video lesson I cover both. It is for anyone who has to deal with an aggressive person, young or old, and wants a simple plan that works under pressure.

Knowing When To Act

The first choice is always to avoid trouble, walk away or get help. But if you are forced to defend yourself, the law does not say you have to wait to be hit first. A pre-emptive action can be lawful when you honestly believe you are about to be attacked, provided what you do is reasonable force in the circumstances.

That is not permission to start fights. It is recognition that waiting to be hit is often the worst option you have.

The Trigger Phrase

Here is the key idea in this lesson. Adopt a Pavlovian response: a short, decisive phrase that you train to trigger action.

Think of Pavlov's dogs, who learned to associate a bell with food. You are doing the same thing with a phrase and a response. Example phrases are:

  • "Help"
  • "Get off"
  • "Leave me alone"

Practise these phrases until saying them and moving go together automatically. Under stress, people freeze. A trained trigger phrase cuts through the freeze, because the decision has already been made in training.

Choose phrases that are simple and relevant to a self-defence situation. Avoid anything that could be misunderstood by the other person or by witnesses. Your words should make it obvious that you are the one being threatened.

Take An Angle

Do not stand directly in front of the aggressor. Take an angle. Standing square in front of someone puts you right in line with their strongest attacks. A small step off the line makes it harder for them to hit you and easier for you to act or get away.

How To Practise

Work with a partner. Have them approach and get into your space, then use your phrase, take your angle and move. Repeat it until it is automatic. Keep it controlled and work with a cooperative partner so you can practise often.

Take It Further

My Pressure Point Self Defense Course gives you a complete, simple self-defence system. If you are just starting out, try the FREE Pressure Point Fighting Mini-Course.